History of the Botch: An Essay

botch /bach/ (verb): to foul up hopelessly.

Botch. A term first coined by Johanne Grieg, assasin of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, whose death sparked WWI. Grieg was later heard saying, "Wow, I was totally aiming for the driver of that car, he owed me money. I'm a terrible shot; what a botch." The word made its way into the English lexicon after words like debacle and disaster failed to characterize the Nixon administration, Vietnam, and the 80's.

While it is not a "household" term, the word carries a number of uses for various occasions, elegantly summarizing missteps and mistakes. Take a gander:

• Joe Garafalo is one big, walking botch.
• Southern Rap is a rather significant botchful art form, which has boiled down to terrible songs about "moving dem buttcheeeeks", "shaking dat laffy taffy", and "juggling dat rump roast" (I made that last one up, but admit it, you thought it was a real song).
• I once woke Joe up by throwing a 2 foot skeleton toy that dances and plays halloween music in bed with him and turned it on. That may have been a botch. He was pissed.
• In an attempt to capture a rabbit on my bike, i ran through some rough country and ended up taking a spill. Botch.
• My RA put up a bunch of posters about STDs on our hallway walls, and in the middle of them was a blurb on black history month. She botched. (Side note: She also put up some posters about rape on our door. Another botch.)
• Bocce Ball, nuff said.

So in conclusion of this very short essay, which i am going to turn in for my english comp class, the word botch is singularly the most potent and concise way to descibe a terrible action, situation, or person.

Word to your mother,

Scantrooon

P.S. Feel free to post other botches that you have seen or know about, or even times when you botched (there's no need to be ashamed, everyone botches sometimes). Holla!!!